The Unspoken Love Secret | Michael W. Regier, PhD

Love addiction in relationships can be a dangerous thing, despite the initial excitement and allure. The experience of new love during adolescence and young adulthood is often overwhelming and captivating, making everything else pale in comparison. The rush of emotions and fantasies can feel addictive, like a drug that draws you in and keeps you hooked. But what can go wrong with something that feels so right?

Understanding the chemistry of new love is crucial, as many hearts are broken and marriages destroyed when people fail to differentiate between new and mature love. While new love may inspire us to make heroic efforts to attract the attention of our desire’s object, it can also distract us from our commitments and lead us astray. The big emotions associated with new love can be a powerful force that destroys what we have spent a lifetime loving and sacrificing for.

According to neuroscientists Larry Young and Brian Alexander, new love is an addiction. When people are under the influence of this powerful drug, they will do anything to get more of it, often at the expense of the relationships that matter most to them. The brain chemical dopamine plays a crucial role in this addiction, as it affects mood and motivates behavior. Dopamine is essential to our lives, but an imbalance can lead to addiction and destructive behaviors.

New love activates the pleasure center of the brain, called the nucleus accumbens, by stimulating dopamine release. This stimulation creates a feeling of euphoria that can be compared to the effects of cocaine. In fact, the obsessive euphoria people feel when stimulated by dopamine is similar to the effects of addictive drugs. It’s as if you’re addicted to love. The influence of dopamine is so powerful that it can make you feel like a goofy teenager, unable to escape its effects.

While new love and dopamine-driven relationships can elevate sexiness to a new level, it’s important to differentiate between “dopamine dating” and “attachment dating.” Dopamine dating involves being under the influence of dopamine and making critical decisions based on these feelings. It can lead to disastrous errors in judgment. On the other hand, attachment dating focuses on getting to know someone on a deeper level, understanding their values and vision for a fulfilled life. It involves allowing the promise of love, not the drug, to deepen and solidify attachment.

Understanding the difference between dating for dopamine and dating for attachment is crucial for lifelong health and happiness. Dating for dopamine is like using another person as a mood-altering drug, while dating for attachment is about building a deep and meaningful connection. When the excitement of new love wears off and the brain stops delivering mega doses of dopamine, it’s easy to question the relationship. But by focusing on attachment and allowing psychology and biology to be influenced by one person, we can build a strong and lasting relationship.

In conclusion, love addiction in relationships can be harmful if not understood and managed properly. The rush of new love and the influence of dopamine can lead to destructive behaviors and the breakdown of marriages. It’s important to differentiate between the initial excitement of new love and the deeper attachment that comes with lasting relationships. By understanding the chemistry of love and the power of dopamine, we can navigate relationships with caution and build a strong foundation for lifelong happiness.

Original Story at – 2024-02-07 21:03:48

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